Reason #35

You sent me an email, asking me to print some things, with these instructions:

I need on an expedited basis (before lunch, perhaps?) all the emails, including all the attachments in all the emails.  Please staple each individual email and each attachment within it.

Also, if there are any attachments you can't print, send me back the email by email and I will address.  (I don't know whether this will be the case or not.)

Because I was working on a project already and had a lunch date with 2 of the equity partners and one of their assistants, I asked Reception to handle this for you.  I copied you on the email I forwarded them (like I always do, so you know I’ve delegated the project), and this was your reply:

Make sure she understands exactly what to do...I don't have the energy to day to deal with it having to be redone.  TX

What exactly am I supposed to explain to Reception? I forwarded the email you sent me which included your instructions.  I have nothing to add other than what, “Follow the instructions?”

But the best part is when Reception was working on this project and she had something she needed to clarify with you, you apparently went all raging bitch on her because you were sick and didn’t have the “energy” to deal with it. A) If you’re that sick, stay the hell home.  B) If you can’t take the time to clarify a project, we’d be more than happy to do it wrong for you and then bitch about you behind your back when you complain about how it was done wrong because you didn’t have the energy to answer questions.

I came back from lunch to a scolding letter to you and I both from HR saying that, in the future, if you and I aren’t available for consultation during a project, the project would have to wait until I returned.  However, HR told me in confidence that the letter wasn’t actually directed at me, it was directed at you, but because you’re such a prima donna, HR had to address the letter to both of us so you wouldn’t throw a fit at being reprimanded for being a raging bitch.  And HR was also pissed that you were so mean and talked down to Reception, who was helping you on a project.

Seriously, stay home when you’re that sick.  In fact, stay home when you aren’t sick.  The office is a much nicer place to be when you’re not here.